It's still Rocking baby...
well, life's not back on track!
I found a full time job... but have not yet start even after one month plus. Need to pass the exams all that... Be a finanical adviser that's what... So now, still working at pub, still with xiao xin n alvin n all the waitress... But it's at a new place, GRAXS, at Aliwal Street... Come visit me anyone? haha...
Haven been working hard... got sick again n again... Fuck up.... RElationship's stuff weighing me down, and I know i should not let it get this way... I know I need to concentrate on stuff like my exams, think about prospects... and make 2007 much better... I know n I know...
Just that my heart's been working too hard... I feel too much 'bout what's going on. I wanna forget everything, but i know I dun really want to also... Many things have happen between me and rix... ya, the one i called darling, called uncle rix... the one who was there when I need him in 2006... Problem is will he still be there? in 2007, or 2008, or the years after? I doubt so...
He is my darling, but I have got a Dear Dear... before i knew him... My 2 yrs boyfriend... I allow myself to fall in despite knowing my heart's still occupy... Sure, things were rocky between me and Nun Jun then... I needed fun, I needed a shoulder... Never thought he will come to mean so much to me...
Now, I felt split... torn into 2... sometimes ii do blame Rix... cos he did know everything from the start... that I have a boyfriend I love... why did he choose to step in? do the actions he did... slowly n slowly make me feel for him? If he had never the way he was, I would have been just very very gd friends with him... I will not have fall in... And I will not be so miserable now...
But of cos, I should have kept my distance... should not have believe that things will always be under control... should not have believe that i can trust rix totally... gave him my heart, share with him my life, should not have believe that he will not hurt me, that he will not leave me...
Yesh, I am selfish... I am... I cant bear to end my relationship and I dun wan to let Nun Jun down... I cant bear to let Rix go, I dun wan us to become distant... I dunno who I love more... Cos I love the two of them in totally different ways...
My heart's been in pain recently... I dunno why, maybe cos I feel that sadness is near... Things are changing and I miss everything I used to hold dear... All the friends, companionship... How i used to do so much for Nun Jun, all our arguements, heartfelt feelings... I miss the way me n Rix were... how we talk so comfortably... how we hold each other, how he care n understand me... How much I have put in...
Nun Jun dear... Rix Darling... I am so sorry... *sob *sob
I wish to juz simply disappear.............................................
I found a full time job... but have not yet start even after one month plus. Need to pass the exams all that... Be a finanical adviser that's what... So now, still working at pub, still with xiao xin n alvin n all the waitress... But it's at a new place, GRAXS, at Aliwal Street... Come visit me anyone? haha...
Haven been working hard... got sick again n again... Fuck up.... RElationship's stuff weighing me down, and I know i should not let it get this way... I know I need to concentrate on stuff like my exams, think about prospects... and make 2007 much better... I know n I know...
Just that my heart's been working too hard... I feel too much 'bout what's going on. I wanna forget everything, but i know I dun really want to also... Many things have happen between me and rix... ya, the one i called darling, called uncle rix... the one who was there when I need him in 2006... Problem is will he still be there? in 2007, or 2008, or the years after? I doubt so...
He is my darling, but I have got a Dear Dear... before i knew him... My 2 yrs boyfriend... I allow myself to fall in despite knowing my heart's still occupy... Sure, things were rocky between me and Nun Jun then... I needed fun, I needed a shoulder... Never thought he will come to mean so much to me...
Now, I felt split... torn into 2... sometimes ii do blame Rix... cos he did know everything from the start... that I have a boyfriend I love... why did he choose to step in? do the actions he did... slowly n slowly make me feel for him? If he had never the way he was, I would have been just very very gd friends with him... I will not have fall in... And I will not be so miserable now...
But of cos, I should have kept my distance... should not have believe that things will always be under control... should not have believe that i can trust rix totally... gave him my heart, share with him my life, should not have believe that he will not hurt me, that he will not leave me...
Yesh, I am selfish... I am... I cant bear to end my relationship and I dun wan to let Nun Jun down... I cant bear to let Rix go, I dun wan us to become distant... I dunno who I love more... Cos I love the two of them in totally different ways...
My heart's been in pain recently... I dunno why, maybe cos I feel that sadness is near... Things are changing and I miss everything I used to hold dear... All the friends, companionship... How i used to do so much for Nun Jun, all our arguements, heartfelt feelings... I miss the way me n Rix were... how we talk so comfortably... how we hold each other, how he care n understand me... How much I have put in...
Nun Jun dear... Rix Darling... I am so sorry... *sob *sob
I wish to juz simply disappear.............................................
posted by ++PrincessRon++ at 11:45 PM
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